Mistake 1 and Mistake 2: Anyone who knows me knows that I don't have the stomach to kill an animal with an axe, or any other hand to hand combat weapon. If you are a person under 18, you should probably stop reading right ......here. If you are old enough to watch an R rated movie, keep on reading. So earlier in the day I took Alene to the barn to clean out horsies pen and to feed the chickens. During the chicken feeding the rooster flogged her, for the third time. I took her to the house assuring her he wouldn't live to see the moon. While she ate her lunch, I prepared the weapon of destruction and justice; my 12 gauge, which I am typically a hell of a shot with. After I put Alene down for her nap I went out to resolve the problem. Mistake 1; I threw Foghorn Leghorn out of the pen so that the rest of the poultry and the goats would not have to witness the swift justice of an irate stay at home mom. My dipshit dog, mack, who is scared of guns, kept running in front of the rooster. Obviously, this took away my advantage of shooting him in the open since dipshit ran all the way around the corner and under the barn for fear that I would cash in on some promises made after he dug holes under my fence. When mack was in the clear I positioned the trusty 12 gauge against my shoulder and took aim. Foghorn Leghorn has been around for 6 years, I have had a little bit of an attachment to the rooster. So at the moment of truth, I hesitated and flinched. Throwing off my aim. Something else was there I did not see. Mistake 2; After missing foghorn leghorn I quickly realized I blew the hell out of my main water line which runs down to the big barn."F*^%!!" After alot of cursing I realized that Leghorn was slipping around the fence to get back in, which would take quite a an effort to coax him back around the barn. So I quickly reloaded and took my shot. This could almost qualify for mistake three. I got him in the head, no suffering............but if you have ever killed a chicken before you will know that they flop around when you shoot them...........so down into the creek he went. A straight drop off into a bunch of nettles and black berries. So I swiftly went about fixing my water line, I am a shitty plumber, and then ran to the house, and got the rubber boots. After an assessment on which way would be the quickest to the creek, I decided to hop in, and grin and bear the nettles and blackberries. I found Leghorn, and pulled him out of the creek. I took Leghorn up the canyon as to be sure that he would not attract predators or stink up my house. So that is what this stay at home mom did today. In case anyone is curious, I fixed the water line!
* In the photo of the shot up waterline you see the obvious, holes from the shot. But if you look to the left, what appears to be a staple is actually chicken wire shrapnel
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